Magic Scallions

Mandarin Chinese is the most widely spoken language in the world.  English comes in a distant second with half as many people, followed closely by Hindi in third and Spanish in fourth (if this was Wikipedia, I’d put a number with a bracket around it like [23.2b] and cite a source, but this is not a community driven vat of knowledge so eat me.  I’m sorry I didn’t mean that.  Please come back.).  So why is English the official language of more countries than any other language?  Money.

But there are actually languages that have been purely constructed, the most popular being Esperanto.  It was created in an attempt to have a “universal second language to foster peace and international understanding” and is supposed to be easier to learn than any natural language because all the stupid rule breaking and nuances have been synthetically ironed out.  Esperanto draws influences from the Romance, Germanic, and Slavic languages, so I was thinking what the perfect Esperanto name would be.  I’ve always appreciated having a “semi-ethnicity ambiguous” last name.  I forget if my dad did it on purpose or if the immigration office just messed up, but I honestly think all employers/HR people have ingrained name biases.  (How do you pronounce Prakash Maharashtra?  Do I address this letter to Mr. or Ms. Hsihn-Tsai Zhong?  We don’t want the PR rep for Weinstein, Goldberg, and Berkowiz LLP to be Mr. Abu Karim Muhammad al-Jamil ibn Nidal ibn Abdulaziz al-Filastini.)  Anyway, so the best name to have is Huey Lewis.  Uncommon enough to be memorable, unweird enough not to be profiled.